Undecided Voter Moves to Swing State to Make It Big
He's taking his talents south Pennsylvania.
An undecided voter has announced his plans to “make it big” by moving to a swing state.
California native, Davey Manning, has no viable opportunities in his home state as a swing voter, saying, “No one cares here. No one gives me my attention, so I’m taking my talents elsewhere.”
The undecided voter industry is a bustling industry, ripe with hustlers looking to secure spots on news segment panels. Manning is hoping to settle in his new state of Pennsylvania by the next presidential debate in order to secure a panel spot.
“You really want a 60 Minutes segment, or an ABC News segment. Those are the golden geese of the industry. But given I’ve just moved here, I’ll probably have to beat out a few other voters to have a seat on those panels.”
And how does Manning plan to beat out the other undecided voters? He says to get a panel spot, you’re best bet is to play one of two characters:
A difficult, single-issue voter.
An oaf.
"Of course Ken Bone is the best case scenario," Manning continued. "He’s on the Mount Rushmore of undecided voters; the best of the best. He played the single issue voter character to perfection, and branded himself with the red sweater at the same time."
Following the 2016 debate, Ken Bone also made an appearance on Real Time with Bill Maher - a play that is revered among undecided voters.
"He parlayed a stint as an undecided voter into even more attention, and what more can you ask for?“