Taylor Swift’s Parents Pussyfooting Around Asking If They Have to Pay for Wedding
“We were… uh, just wondering…”
Unless you live under a rock1, you’ve likely heard that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are engaged to be married!
While it’s an exciting time for the happy couple, the parents of the bride-to-be are experiencing a different array of emotions, chief among them being anxiety.
“THIS WEDDING’S GOING TO BE FUCKING EXPENSIVE! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!” - Scott Swift, Father
The anxiety clouding their excitement is due to the Swift parents being unsure if they’ll be expected to foot the bill. After all, it is tradition for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding.
While it would be most productive to ask Taylor and Travis directly, the Swift parents have instead been pussyfooting around the issue of who will pay for the wedding, seemingly afraid they will be expected to pay.
“The wedding is likely going to cost a lot of money and neither her father nor I want to ask Taylor if she’s expecting us to pitch in.
We draw sticks everyday to see who has to ask her, and then usually whoever draws the shorter stick just doesn’t talk about it the rest of the day, and so we forget about it and redraw sticks the next day.” - Andrea Swift, Mother
The two parents have started to sneak vague questions into conversation to help them gauge how much the wedding will cost, like:
“Are you thinking a big wedding, or a more intimate one?”
“Open bar, right?”
“Will this event warrant carbon credits?”
In the case that you do live under a rock, don’t leave from under the rock! It’s an overall terrible vibe in the country right now! Stay under the rock!