After a six week trial at the Westlake Little League, a new report suggests that hitting is, in fact, not contagious.
The shocking study refutes a long held belief among the baseball community and instead offers up a different theory: your son sucks at pitching.
"We began by asking ourselves what conditions must be met to make hitting contagious," says Matthew Banks, a lead researcher at the Institute for Expensive Studies. "And the only condition we found to be a catalyst for offense was that the child on the pitcher’s mound was throwing - and I believe the technical term is - hot garbage."
The report has been met with some opposition, specifically by the parents of said children who claim the methodology was subpar and that it didn’t account for “heart.”
Lead researcher Matthew Banks maintained the study’s methodology was sound, saying, "We looked at environmental conditions, we looked at team chemistry, we looked at pre-game routines; none of it correlated to hitting. Some of these kid pitchers are simply abysmal and they’re rightfully getting shelled.”