Recession Incoming? Bully Changes Prices From “$Free.99” to “My Mom Got Let Go - Can I Please Have Your Lunch?”
Uh-oh
There are many signs that indicate an incoming economic recession:
Stock market volatility
Decrease in real GDP
Parents don’t talk as much at dinner
Well, now there’s a new sign that may signal an impending recession.
A new study shows that a change in the behavior of bullies might be a sign of a looming economic recession.
Very specifically, bullies are changing their pricing by altering their lunch-stealing approach.
Bullies have traditionally charged “$Free.99,” as in, “Hey, how much did your lunch cost? $Free.99?” followed by a quick snatching of said lunch.
Now, bullies cutting all the extra razzle-dazzle. They are instead using an extremely transparent approach: “Hey, my mom lost her job - can I please have your lunch?”
The candor of the bully’s ask is as troubling a sign as any. The shift from intimidation to earnestness shows a desperation only the likes of a recession-era bully would exude.
Where the price was once “$Free.99,” the true price to pay is now carrying the weight of the bully’s burden.
“$Free.99” was an embarrassing spectacle, sure, but that’s where it stopped. You didn’t take it home with you.
The alternative of knowing your bully’s mom lost her job is a deeply personal look into the home life of your bully, and is there anything worse than carrying the emotional weight of your bully’s plight?
Sure is: it’s fear that it might be a sign of an incoming recession.