Quiz: Can You Avoid Staring at the Mystery Bumps on Your Waiter’s Head?
Take the quiz to find out!
So, you’re waiter just approached the table for the first time and you noticed something peculiar atop his head.
What do you do?
Daring.
You focused on the top of his head and noticed what appears to be a couple of growths.
What do you do next?
Good choice.
You’ve stayed under the radar.
It’s not easy to maintain eye contact, but for now you can monitor these peculiar growths with the power of peripheral vision.
But what’s your next move?
Not a bad move.
Where do you choose to park your gaze?
Caught up.
He called you out by saying, “Excuse me. Can I help you?”
What’s your response?
You’ve been rewarded for being direct:
"Oh these? These are my subdermal horn implants."
What’s your response?
Oops. You’ve fallen in love.
Engaging in prolonged eye contact can release hormones like oxytocin and phenylethylamine, which can lead to bonding and attraction.
You haven’t felt butterflies like this since your ex called you beautiful for what would be the last time.
You can see a future with the waiter - the wedding, the kids, the franchising of a Panda Express. It all rides on this moment.
What do you do?
Pervert.
Don’t look at other people at a restaurant. Try again.
Where do you choose to park your gaze?
Rude.
Your significant other calls you out and apologizes to the waiter on your behalf.
You’re ashamed and embarrassed.
What’s the next move?
"Oh, actually, I have a menu right here."
Uh oh. The waiter draws you back in. You’ve no choice but to:
Whoa. You’re high, man. Everyone knows it.
You’re hallucinating in the restaurant and you’re yelling, "Kill him! He has horns!"
You’ve been kicked out of the restaurant and will never know the secret of the waiter’s growths.
"We don’t have Sprite. We have Orange Bang though. Would you like that?"
How do you respond?
Head out.
You stand up, grab your coat, and head for the door.
As you leave, you imagine Daughtry’s Home playing and it makes you emotional.
You wish you would’ve conducted yourself differently, but you can’t change the past.
You unfortunately did not make it through the dinner with your waiter with subdermal horn implants.
"I can refer you to my guy if you want some for yourself."
A bit dicey. How do you respond?
"They’re the only body modification that’s made me feel like the real me; like a horned being."
He got them when he was 24 and, at the time, they were a sacred link between him and Beelzebub, but now he’s a practicing Buddhist and the horns make him feel like the truest version of himself.
The waiter appreciates your maturity.
He allows you to use his 15% employee discount at the end of the meal.
Congratulations! You successfully navigated your meal with a waiter with subdermal horn implants!