Promises Made, Promises Kept: Sesame Street Muppets Get Death Penalty
Go woke, go croak.
“Promises made, promises kept.”
That’s the slogan by which President Trump wants his first 100 days to be remembered, and he’s delivered on yet another promise.
After spouting their woke ideology (empathy, numbers, shapes, etc.), President Trump placed the Sesame Street Muppets at the center of his target and urged Attorney General Pam Bondi to “throw the book at them.”
Bondi obliged and after arresting the Muppets on charges of treason, the Muppets were found guilty and will receive the death penalty.
They will be the first inmates in history to be put to death by “hand extraction.”
President Trump went to Truth Social to brag about the stiff punishment:
What’s Next for PBS?
The death of the Sesame Street Muppets will aid Trump in taking down PBS (Public Broadcasting Service) - a newfound goal of his.
Once PBS is out of the way, Trump intends to replace it with his own channel: PBS (Patriot Broadcasting Service).
Changing PBS to PBS will allow Trump to focus on replacing programming rather than branding.
Here are some of the new programs President Trump has proposed to air on his PBS:
Dan Tiger’s Neighborhood
Dan Tiger is Daniel Tiger’s cop uncle voiced by Dan Bongino.
Follow Dan Tiger as he turns bad neighborhoods into good neighborhoods by arresting people.
Make Kids Healthy Again
Produced by R.F.K., this show will provide children with tips and tricks on how to be healthy, and will also get kids excited about beef tallow!
Finding Some of Your Roots
A spiritual successor to Finding Your Roots, this show will only look at the best parts of your roots.
Slave owner ancestors? That can’t be right. Let’s go up a generation.
Huh, slave owner ancestors, again? That can’t be right. Let’s go up a generation.
Oh wow! I have British ancestors! I’ve always liked tea. That’s cool!