Man Falls Asleep Counting Sheep; Wakes Up By Wet Dream

Not an ideal combo.

Buckle up! A local man is under fire for waking up after having a nocturnal emission. Although a nocturnal emission is totally normal for adult men (source: Google, Bing, my doctor), this was no ordinary wet dream.

The man behind this sleepy emission is local man, Simon Pill. Pill is famous for his nocturnal emissions not only within his circle of friends, but also among his local community. However, he recently let one detail slip that changes everything.

In an interview with a local NPR affiliate, Pill was candid about the sleep technique he uses most frequently to fall asleep:

Host:
So, we know you like to get to sleep fast-

Pill:
Of course, of course. The faster I get to sleep, the faster I get to my emissions.

Host:
[laugh] Oh I bet. And what sort of technique do you often use to fall asleep quickly?

Pill:
Oh, you know, there's running, there's watching a nice film with a warm cup of tea, but the technique I've found most useful is to count sheep.

Host:
Counting sheep? Now see, the issue I think I'd have with that is I would then dream of the sheep... is that an issue for you?

Pill:
Why is it bad to dream of sheep?

Host:
Well if you're dreaming of the sheep... and then busting in the night...

Pill sat in silence for a few seconds before taking off his microphone and leaving the studio. Upon a request for a follow up statement, Pill has declined to comment.