Jobs For Upside-Down-Painters Rise 1500% As NBA Halftime Season Begins
Related: The frisbee-catching-dog industry is booming!
The NBA season begins tomorrow and you know what that means?
Steady employment for upside-down-painters that perform during halftime shows!
The jobs for the upside-down-painting labor force spiked 1500% as the NBA season begins. Each of the 30 NBA teams plays 82 games throughout the season, which means there are 1,230 halftime show slots to fill.
Although they must compete for these slots against other performers such as local musicians and frisbee-catching-dogs, opportunities are most bountiful for upside-down-painters at this time, and it is seen as period of golden opportunity across the industry.
When asked for comment, one upside-down-painter said, "The opportunity for employment during the offseason is next to nothing. I’ll get the occasional birthday party or, in one case a bris, but outside of that I don’t have work coming in on a steady basis."
During the interview, I asked the upside-down-painter if they had considered painting right-side-up during the offseason, to make money by selling artwork. They did not comprehend the suggestion:
ASS News: Would you ever consider painting right-side-up in the offseason? To sell pieces and make money.
Painter: Paint right-side-up… like Banksy?
ASS News: Among others, sure.
Painter: Well, I’m an upside-down-painter. This is what I do: I paint upside-down. I’m not even sure I could paint right-side-up with the same level of talent I paint upside-down.
ASS News: Well, just do what you already do, but flip it. Like, you already flip and invert the image in your head, right?
Painter: Yeah.
ASS News: Just do that again. Like flip it and invert it two times over and boom - you’ve got a right-side-up painting.
Painter: That’s not making sense to me.
ASS News: Just do your upside-down-painting method, upside-down.
Painter: I’m getting confused.
At this moment, I pulled out a sheet of paper and drew a diagram.
The upside-down-painter became so confused, and even started to feel that I was being "condescending" to them. They became angry with me and cursed my family name. We ended the interview shortly thereafter.
The NBA season begins Tuesday, October 22nd.