JD Vance Inquires About "Make And Model" Of White House Couches

He's submitted a list of SKUs.

In January, Donald Trump will shuffle into the White House with grand plans of enacting his Day 1 agenda, which includes pardoning January 6th offenders, and reversing Biden’s equity efforts.

But Trump isn’t the only one with bad ideas. ASS News can report that JD Vance has added "Acquire New Couches" to the administration’s Day 1 agenda.

In the wee hours of November 5th when it started to look promising for the Trump campaign, Vance began asking various members of the Trump team about "the make and models" of the existing White House couches.

When he was met with an answer he did not like, he would feverishly pull out his phone and say, "Replace it with-" and then would recite the SKU of a couch he preferred. Once the list was substantial enough, Vance convinced Trump to add the project to the Day 1 agenda.

Vance had a few more couch related items he wanted to add, but recognizing the severity of the asks, he moved them from the Day 1 agenda to Project 2025. The items included "Tightening Couch Cushions" and "Avoiding Tariffs That Would Affect ‘Couch Parts.’"