Five Signs We’re Entering a Recession
There’s the stock market, and then there’s all these signs. Beware.
The stock market has been in a spiral since President Trump announced “reciprocal tariffs” on nearly every country last week, but does a stock market crash always translate to a recession?
Not quite.
However, there are other signs beginning to emerge that experts warn could signal a looming recession:
1) Nancy Pelosi Stock Portfolio Only Includes Cereal Companies
Pelosi’s portfolio is notorious for being ahead of the curve. If she’s divested of everything except General Mills & Post Holdings, well then I guess the great oracle sees us only eating cereal in the near future. Not good!
2) You Keep Overhearing People Whisper, “I Can Fix This” To Their Families
At Walgreens, at Home Depot, at Red Lobster, you keep hearing grown men and women frantically whisper to their families, “I can fix this.”
What are so many needing to fix?! Not good!!
3) Men Removing “Fiscally Conservative” From Dating Bio
For far too long, stealth Republicans have tried to fly under the radar on dating apps by claiming they are “socially liberal/fiscally conservative.” Not anymore!
Due to the tanking of the stock market, “fiscally conservative” is now perceived to be inept and Repubs have started to delete it from their bio.
Repubs not proud of being Repubs?! Not a good sign for the economy!!!
4) My Chemical Romance Touring ‘The Black Parade’ Album
Correlation is not causation, okay?
But the only time the band My Chemical Romance has toured the album ‘The Black Parade’ was initially from 2007-2008 and then again in 2025. Uh oh!
Don’t freak out! IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT! But it is worth keeping an eye on. This world works in weird ways and patterns should be recognized is all.
However… not a great pattern!!!
5) Starbucks is Now Running BOGO Tax Free Deals
Starbucks used to run “Buy One Get One Free” deals.
Awesome!
Then they scaled down to “Buy One Get One 50% Off.”
Okay…
Now they’re doing “Buy One Get One Tax Free” deals where you buy one drink at regular price and then get a second drink at regular price minus the tax.
Minus the tax? Is there even tax on Starbucks?!
HUH?!
Really bad deal, Starbucks! Not good!!!!