Cousin Who Keeps Saying “She’s In a Better Place Now” Clearly Didn’t Know Grandma
A wolf in sheep’s clothing
After the passing of their grandmother, a local cousin revealed himself to be a fraud when he incorrectly stated, “she’s in a better place now.”
The a verbal misstep came in the wee hours of the morning when family members were exchanging stories about their grandmother.
While most of the stories naturally began with the clause “although” or “despite,” one cousin offered up a comforting thought free of caveats: “she’s in a better place now.”
The family members who knew grandma best shot a suspicious glance at one another, as if to say, “beware: that cousin is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
The reason for the family member’s skepticism was because there was a lot on the line. Their grandma was leaving behind a massive inheritance, after all, and everyone wanted to get a piece of it.
The inheritance accounted for:
$100 million in oil money
$50 million in blood diamonds
$10 million in taxidermy of (now extinct) animals
$5 million in stolen art
$2 million in 1940’s Nazi memorabilia
$1 million in 1930’s Nazi memorabilia
$298 in NFTs
When the cousin realized he had slipped up by giving a warm, comforting thought about their grandma, he was quick to correct himself, saying, “I was clouded by grief and promise, I did in fact know Grandma was a piece of shit.”
Whether or not he was just covering his tracks, the other family members were, at the very least, comforted by the fact that they were now all in agreement: grandma was a piece of shit, but she was their piece of shit.