By the Numbers: The State of the Union Address
Let’s take a look at the numbers and see what it all means
There are so many numbers out there: four, twenty-seven, and even five hundred.
With all these numbers, it can sometimes be difficult to make sense of it all.
This is By the Numbers: a series where we interpret the numbers for you, so you don’t have to.
Today’s topic: The State of the Union Address.
President Trump’s unofficial State of the Union Address was last night and it was packed with Trumpisms, grade school-level behavior, and so much more.
There’s a lot to unpack, so let’s take a look at the numbers:
100 minutes
That’s how many minutes President Trump spoke for, breaking the record for the longest address to a joint session of congress in history.
Although President Trump spoke for an hour and 40 minutes, it sure didn’t feel like it - it felt much longer.
$433,789.95
This is how much money Elon Musk made from government contracts during the address.
-$14.95
This is how much money I made during the address (bought a Cameo from American Idol Season 9 winner, Lee DeWyze).
3 times
Is the amount of times Lauren Boebert had to be asked to not inappropriately touch the colleague sitting next to her.
In her defense, she was seated in a theater of sorts, and Senator Bill Cassidy does somewhat look like a Tim Burton character, so maybe she thought she was back in the Beetlejuice audience.
43 signs
This is how many signs Democrats made and brought to the address.
0 policies
This is the amount of policies directly impacted by those signs.
1029%
This is the Google trend increase for “transgender mice porn” in red states.
Unfortunately, as soon as President Trump uttered the words “transgender mice,” Republican men had two thoughts:
How can I take away rights from these transgender mice?
How can I get off to these transgender mice?
It’s a tale as old as time.
10 minutes
The amount of time I watched this address for before turning it off so that I wouldn’t get sad, only to then turn on a basketball game where my team lost and I got sad. That’s what we call a lose-lose1.
84 times
The amount of times J.D. Vance said "Thank you, Donald," quietly, under his breath during the speech.
62 instances
The amount of instances President Trump had to mentally bypass the slur he was thinking of, and replace it with "D.E.I.".
21 years old
The average age when a conservative collegiate athlete realizes they’re not going pro and decides to blame it entirely on a trans athlete.
Numbers are hard and there are lots of them, so hopefully we eased the mental load of dissecting it all.
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To clarify, the health of this nation and the unfair treatment of marginalized people is more important to me than a basketball game.
That said… we were up by 23? With 2 minutes left in the 3rd? And lost?
But maybe it’s good that we lost.
Maybe that exposes some obvious flaws in the makeup of the team and expedites a much needed reset, or the firing of the president of basketball operations perhaps.
Maybe this can ultimately be a good thing and the Clippers can win a championship by, let’s say, 2035? Maybe. Is that too much to ask?