Bowser Defends Son Against "Nepo Baby" Claims
"He's worked for everything he has."
Colin Hanks, Hailey Baldwin... Bowser Jr.?
Nepo babies are all around us: in our movies, in our television shows, and now, in our video games. Sure, Bowser Jr. is a fine Kart driver. He has a fairly good turbo and decent off-roading skills, but would he make the cut if it were not for his father?
Here at ASS News, we take pride in our reporting and consider it to be top-notch. So, by way of mixing LSD with Melatonin, I was able to score a one-on-one, sit-down interview with Bowser.
"Admittedly, I understand where folks are coming from," Bowser stated, "but let's not pretend like he's not a power hitter with an 8/10 rating in the Mario Superstar Baseball League. Regardless of his name, he has a good eye and his bat has pop. He deserves to be here."
Bowser's reaction to the interview was very defensive from the start, as he thought this was a press junket interview for the opening of Super Nintendo World at Universal Studio's Hollywood. Once he realized the main topic of the interview would be his son, things took a turn for the worse.
Bowser:
"Are we even going to get to the park? We've been talking about these nepotism claims the whole time."
Me:
"Respectfully, I'd like to go through my questions in order and-"
Bowser:
"Oh, you want to go through your questions in order? How about you don't even finish your questions? How about that."
Me:
"No, please, I'm sorry. We can talk about the park."
Bowser:
"No. You know what? It's just disrespectful. I have a theme park opening, an upcoming feature film, and all you want to talk about is how my son is entitled? Like, what the f*ck are you on about?"
Me:
"Please, we don't have to get ugly here."
Bowser:
"You're right - we don't have to do this at all."
At this point, Bowser ripped off his mic and stormed out of the room. It was clear that the line of questioning regarding the nepotism claims got to Bowser on an emotional level.
Super Nintendo World at Universal Studios Hollywood opens to the public in early 2023, and The Super Mario Bros. Movie opens in theaters on April 7, 2023.