Ally Does Conversion Therapy "The Other Way" For Pride Month
And he's just returned from his trip.
When area straight-man Wiley Jennings thought about how he wanted to spend his Pride Month, he concocted an idea only a true ally could think up: he would do conversion therapy the other way, going from straight to gay.
Jennings spent the better part of the month as a gay man, but with Pride Month coming to a close, he decided to return to his life with his wife and kids. Now, he’s opening up for the first time and talking to ASS News about his experience.
Welcome back, Wiley! How was your Pride Month?
“It was fantastic! I was gay! It was a busy time; there was lots to do and see, but it was fun.”
And when did you get back?
“I converted back to straight on Sunday night around 9:00. Just in time for Tracker on CBS.”
What was your trip like going there? To gay.
“The conversion from straight to gay was eerily similar to that scene in Space Jam where Michael Jordan gets sucked into the golf hole except, instead of ending up in Tune World, I was dropped into a Barry’s.”
How was your time as gay? What did you do?
“Well first of all, credit to my place of work for granting me the full three weeks of PTO I requested. It allowed me to fully immerse myself as gay.
During my time, I did so many things I’ve never done as a straight man such as consecutive hours of watching music videos and sex with a man.”
Oh wow, how was the sex?
“Well, as I sit here now, talking to you, I am straight. So I can’t say I rate it too high.
However, when I was in that moment, I was a gay man and it was fucking euphoric.
But, now that I’m straight again? It was whatever. I could take it or leave it, but probably leaning towards leaving it.”
And did you happen to fall for anyone?
“I… I-“
OooOOOooo, you’re blushing!!
“Look, life as a gay man isn’t all about sex, and you’re reinforcing a negative stereotype by asking me about sex first-”
Tell me! Tell me! Was it a crush or love?!
“I don’t know if I would call it love but the feelings I had for that man were intense.
Again, as I sit here as a straight man, I feel strictly platonic feelings for that man and I wish him well.
However, when I was gay, he was everything. He was the Earth and I was the Moon; revolving around his very being. He was the air that sustained my lungs; the life that filled my soul.
But, now that I’m straight again, I love my wife.”
Well, Wiley, I’m glad you had a good Pride Month and welcome back to being straight.
“Thank you and I look forward to my trip next year.”