BREAKING - After over 450 years of Presbyterianism, it’s all full.
Per our sources, the Presbyterian denomination is quickly running out of space and will reach capacity shortly. That being the case, today has been deemed the last day to join the religious group.
“It’s been a good run,” said the Director of the Presbyterian Church, “but we are all out of space, so we’re shutting it down.”
When asked if people might be able to become Presbyterians at some point in the future, the Director cast doubt, saying, “This is not a Disney Vault situation. We’re closed for good. We’re simply full.”
The news has caused quite a stir, upsetting masses across the world. One man from Luxembourg, Germany expressed what many are feeling, saying, “I’m not sure I ever wanted to be Presbyterian, but now that the clock is ticking, I am considering.”
One day remains to become Presbyterian, so act accordingly.