4 New Tech Gadgets For Fall - How They Can Help Get Your Wife Back
I feel her drifting away and these 4 gadgets can help!
If you’re anything like me, you can feel your wife slowly drifting away from you day by day.
But in a world with so many cool tech gadgets coming out everday, there has to be a solution. Well, I’ve put a list together of the best gadgets you can buy this fall season to help get her back:
Fujiiryoki Calm Plus Massage Chair ($3,700)
The Fujiiryoki Calm Plus Massage Chair is the latest in the Fujiiryoki Massage Chair line. It boasts zero gravity tech and 12 different massage courses.
Nothing will impress your wife more than the latest Fujiiryoki technology, and at the price of $3,699, it’s practically a steal!
Author’s Note:
My wife did not appreciate the Fujiiryoki Calm Plus Massage Chair and called it a "wreckless expense.“ She said she was thankful we didn’t get a pre-nup because "all [my] stuff sucks and there’s nothing good to get from [me] anyway."
And, for what it’s worth, the $3,699 price wasn’t as much of a steal as I thought it would be. You definitely feel it.CurrentBody Skin LED Light Therapy Face Mask ($469)
Skin care is important and CurrentBody offers the top of the line in skin care technology.
With the LED light mask promoting anti-aging skin renewal, it’ll take just a few uses before you look like you did the day you met your wife!Author’s Note:
My ex-wife bullied me the most I’d been bullied since middle school. She made fun of the way I looked in this mask, saying, "You look like an asthmatic Transformer.“
I reminded her of the benefits of the anti-aging skin renewal features and she said, "You’ve looked perpetually 48 since the day I met you- oh I gotta go, Caleb’s here.“
Caleb? As in Caleb my mancala coach? Fuuuuuuck.Samsung Freestyle Projector ($600)
The Samsung Freestyle projector is a full HD mini projector that caters to your life, no matter how flexible.
Want to plan a romantic movie night in the backyard? No problem! The Samsung Freestyle projector will have your loved one begging you for a night in watching movies and relaxing.Author’s Note:
My wife said no to the movie night. She’s out to a movie with Caleb and "maybe some others."Apple Watch Series 10 ($399)
When it comes to new tech, there’s no better feel than Apple. With the Apple Watch Series 10, Apple has raised the bar once again with a more accurate sleep tracking system and heart rate statistics.
You and your loved one can even share workouts and motivate each other through it all.Author’s Note:
My wife agreed to be friends with me on Apple Watch. According to her stats, she completed a 25-minute workout after the movie with Caleb.
Probably wanted to just get a little movement after sitting that long.
Probably was just restless.
Fuuuuck.
