BREAKING - In an already packed field of Republicans and Democrats where only the top two candidates will make the ballot, four more Democrats have entered the race for governor.

We do not have the time to write a brief on all the candidates as there are simply too many. However, there is one candidate of note who appears to be a mannequin with facial hair. If true, that’s bad news for the Democrats as he’s polling third highest among Democrat candidates.

As for why Democrats keep joining the race? "Together, we can save this state from Republicans!" exclaimed one Democrat, seemingly unaware they are cannibalizing each other.

We then asked another candidate if they even understand how the primary race works. The candidate appeared to freeze up, almost caught off guard by the question. He remained silent for 16 minutes straight, and that was when we realized there is indeed a mannequin candidate.

BREAKING - Conservative sleuth, Nick Shirley, has concluded another one of his quality investigations. After weeks of visiting the outside of a library, Shirley has discovered how to say a big word.

Known by some as "the Forrest Gump of young conservatives," Shirley has made a name for himself by becoming the first content creator to start every video with the word "uh."

In his latest investigation, Shirley worked tirelessly over three weeks to arrive at the correct way to say the word, "multisyllabic." When asked for comment, Shirley said, "It was lots of work, but now I know I do not like words that are multisyllabic."

To celebrate the conclusion of the investigation, Shirley will be awarded with wall-to-wall pre-recorded interviews on Fox News.

California Governor Gavin Newsom has been on a spree of owning Republicans on Twitter.

Since adopting President Trump’s hard nosed approach to social media, the California governor has increased his Twitter likes, but at the cost of his support for the LGBTQ+ - a tradeoff the governor is comfortable with. The most recent Newsom slam saw the governor call Senator Lindsey Graham a "homo" for wearing Easter pastels.

The governor elaborated on his new approach:

"My son watches these YouTubers and streamers and says everyone his age thinks they’re cool, so I just say whatever they would say.

Would a streamer make a gay joke? Yes, they would, so why shouldn’t I, a sitting governor, also make a gay joke?

We need to engage the youth."

As early voting begins for New York City’s mayoral race, Andrew Cuomo finds himself polling behind new Democratic star, Zohran Mamdani.

Mamdani brings forth new ideas that inspire hope and change in New York City, but Cuomo is hoping he can persuade voters to his side by using a trusty, old technique called Islamophobia.

Cuomo has made various comments meant to stoke fear at the prospect of a city mayor who is of the Muslim faith1, but after none of it improved his own favorability among New Yorkers, Cuomo has turned to a last-ditch effort: sharing old videos of Jeff Dunham’s “Achmed the Dead Terrorist” character.

A quick glance at Cuomo’s profile on X reveals it to be littered with posts and reposts all about the 2007-era puppet, “Achmed the Dead Terrorist.”

When asked for comment, Cuomo said, “If I can just get Islamophobia back to mid-2000’s levels, temporarily, that would do wonders for me.

But time’s not on my side.”

JD Vance is a supporter of free speech.1 Plain and simple.

That’s why, when a group text leaked earlier this week from a group called the “Young Republicans”2 filled with Holocaust jokes, Hitler praise, and racial slurs, JD Vance defended the rhetoric, explaining, “That’s what kids do,” despite the fact that the people in that group chat were aged 26-32.

It was no surprise, then, when later in the week, Vice President Vance was spotted at a local retirement home, holding a press conference to defend a senile, old man who blurts out slurs.

Said Vance, “He’s just a kid. This is what young boys do.”

When a reporter asked Vance where these young boys learn this rhetoric, Vance responded, “From the movies probably. In fact, I come here to this retirement home once a week and put on my favorite comedy, Gran Torino. Eastwood gives a comedic performance for the ages. It gets me every time.”

Vance then doubled down his defense of the 89 year-old, slur-muttering man, saying, “You know, this young boy’s edgy humor is typical for a kid his age and shame on you for not allowing him time to learn and grow.”

Vice President Vance took issue with the fact that this, of all things, is what the media is focusing on. “There are much more important issues going on right now. There’s the Super Bowl Halftime Show and there’s the declining sperm count in our teen’s semen, to name a couple.

You all have your priorities out of whack!”

There’s another nationwide No Kings protest this Saturday, so here are 5 things ANTIFA wants you to know before you partake.

1) ANTIFA Member Dues

ANTIFA member dues must be paid prior to protest.

We will need this money prior to the date of the protest so we can purchase the pallets of bricks we need for the event. Bricks don’t exactly grow on trees, so be a good member and pay your dues!

2) How to Get Your Payment

You must check in with your local ANTIFA chapter leader to receive payment.

We all know the only reason we protest is to get paid, however, there is an organizational process for a reason and we must respect that. Therefore, upon arriving to the protest, locate your local chapter leader and check-in with your name and ANTIFA Member ID.

Your payment from George Soros will be processed and transferred to your ANTIFA account within three business days after the protest.

If you’d like to see how much money you will be paid out, you can visit sorospayment.com and use the Soros Payment Calculator.

3) Dress Code

The dress code is, yet again, hoodies and face-covering bandanas.

Look, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Besides, hoodies and face-covering bandanas is a signature look! It allows us to look menacing and even conceal our identities, which then opens up other opportunities for us like news interviews. It’s a win-win!

4) Don’t Discuss January 6

They’re onto us.

We had a good run. For a bit there, we had people convinced that MAGA stormed the Capitol on January 6th. But those truth tellers on the far right podcasts were soon onto us and now it’s only a matter of time before we’re the ones in prison. And guys? I don’t think we’re getting a pardon, so mum’s the word, eh?

5) Afterparty

The ANTIFA perks just keep coming because this year’s afterparty is at Dave & Busters! If you checked-in with your local chapter leader at the protest, they’ll give you a Dave & Busters Power Card worth $30. That’s enough to enjoy a nice evening of games with your hooded pals. Enjoy!

On Friday morning, María Corina Machado of Venezuela was announced as the recipient of the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize.

The news came as a shock and disappointment to the U.S. President, Donald Trump, after he was an outspoken supporter of himself to win the prize. In response to not winning the Nobel Peace Prize, President Trump has vowed to punish each and every person who did not vote for him to receive the prize.

In a statement shared via the White House account on X, President Trump said:

Later in the morning while addressing the press, President Trump revisited the idea of getting revenge on his adversaries by saying:

"I’m the most peaceful person I know. And I’d like to think I’m quite noble as well.

But if I find out who didn’t vote for me… oh, they’re going to get hell like they’ve never seen before.

They’re going to have to create a new award to give me: the Nobel Chaos & Vengence Award."

After addressing the press, President Trump went back to work on the Israel-Gaza peace deal, but sources within the White House say the President’s head "just wasn’t in it" after losing out on the award.

There’s always next year.

The Cargo Pant

Tactical. Functional. Earth tones.

These stylish Fall bottoms will have every Proud Boy on the block going, "Woof woof, what are those? Ahoooooga, ahoooooga!" These plainclothes staples demand respect, signal strength, and can carry however many gas station pills you can fit into 14 pockets. They’re modern classics that will give you more confidence than Don Jr. after a bump.

Too Tight Shirt

Every October, as the warm air turns to a cool crisp breeze, you’ll start to see them come out: little nipples poking through too tight shirts. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, this look is intimidating as hell. Don’t want to wear a tight, little graphic t-shirt because of gay? No problem, bud. Lose the plainclothes, and you can accessorize to your heart’s content by putting a patch of your favorite superhero on your gear. Hell yeah, stud.

Asshole Hat

Think your Fall ICE clothing might make you look too friendly? That’s the perfect reason to throw on a hat an asshole would wear. Think about a hat that’s the epitome of what an asshole would wear, go into your closet, grab that hat and throw it on. Not asshole enough? Turn it around: backwards hat. Boom.

Face Mask

Ewww, masks. Right? Well, maybe not. Consider this: instead of wearing a mask to shield you from some dumb contagious disease, you can now wear a mask to shield you from the consequences of your actions and choices. You know how in security videos of those "smash and grab" robberies, you see the criminals in masks so they can get away with the crime - it’s just like that, except what you’re doing is for the Red, White, and Blue.

Take a look at these stylish Fall looks in action:

The federal government was shutdown late Tuesday night after the Senate failed to pass multiple proposed continuing resolutions, which would have extended government funding.

As the deadline drew near, the White House made sure to let us who to blame should a shutdown occur: Democrats.

They even displayed a countdown clock right out of a nightmare episode of 24:

Now, while the New Year’s Eve countdown clock made clear where Americans should place blame, it didn’t explain how we got here.

So, here’s a brief snapshot of what led to this government shutdown.

Government Shutdown Timeline

• March 14, 2025: Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer votes to pass CR that funds government until September 2025.

  • "As bad as passing the CR is, allowing Donald Trump to take even more power via a government shutdown is a far worse option."1

• July 4, 2025: Big Beautiful Bill is signed into law, cutting Medicaid by 12%.2

• July 8, 2025: Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer pens a letter3 urging bipartisanship ahead of a looming September government shutdown, citing concerns for cuts to healthcare.

  • "As we enter the July work period, Republicans will soon confront the decision as to whether they continue down this dangerous partisan path: Will they work across the aisle with Democrats to responsibly fund the government or will they bend the knee to the pressure from President Trump…"

• August 4, 2025: Democratic Leaders call for meeting with GOP leaders4 to discuss impending CR. Republicans ignore the request.

• August 28, 2025: Democratic Leaders again call for meeting with GOP leaders5 upon their return to Congress to discuss the potential lapse in government funding.

  • "Are there any plans to address the looming healthcare crisis?"

• September 12, 2025: President Trump says "don’t even bother dealing with [Democrats’]" shutdown demands.6

• September 19, 2025: House Republicans pass a CR, in which they frame the Democrat’s desire to reverse healthcare cuts as "demanding $1.5 trillion in new spending."7 This CR does not pass in the Senate and Republicans leave town to avoid negotiations.8

• September 20, 2025: Democratic Leaders call for meeting with President Trump to discuss impending government shutdown.9

• September 22, 2025: President Trump agrees to meet with Democratic Leaders.10

• September 23, 2025: President Trump cancels meeting with Democratic Leaders.11

• September 26, 2025: Trump tells Democrats to "Go fuck yourself."

  • "He read all the shit they’re asking for, and he said, ‘on second thought, go fuck yourself."12

• September 29, 2025: President Trump meets with Democratic Leaders, but won’t budge on healthcare, and instead pushes "Trump 2028" hats in their faces.1314

• September 29, 2025: Trump Admin and other Republicans promise they will talk later on healthcare issues if Democrats keep government open.

  • "They need to do the right thing, keep the government open, and then we can talk about it."15

• September 29, 2025: Republicans freak out after Bad Bunny is announced to do the Super Bowl Halftime Show (this doesn’t relate at all, but somehow MAGA Republicans were more upset by this than the government shutting down).16

• October 1, 2025: Government shuts down.

So, while Democratic leaders have attempted to discuss reversing healthcare cuts since the day the One Big Beautiful Bill passed, President Trump didn’t care to meet to discuss it until one day prior to the government shutdown.

It’s a wonder he’s so good at business.

Now, look, this back-and-forth has always been about healthcare. Democrats are attempting to save what they can of the healthcare concessions made in the One Big Beautiful Bill, and so Republicans are pulling out one of their favorite buzzwords to give their voter base a jolt:

Woah, ILLEGAL ALIENS?!? Slow down! It’s the first day of October and Republicans leaders are already bringing out their favorite book, "Scary Stories to Tell MAGA."

I don’t want to downplay people’s concerns about where their all-American, hard-earned money is going, but typically, if ever you see the scapegoat be immigrants or trans people, you’re being manipulated by fear tactics as old as time.

To explain what Republicans are talking about, the program they’re referring to is called Emergency Medicaid and it "reimburses hospitals for emergency care they are obligated to provide"17 (yes, in this country, it is illegal to not provide emergency treatment to someone).18

So, if a hospital is not reimbursed for emergency that care… the hospital will have to pay out of their own pocket to cover that care (not the taxpayers!), which could then push hospitals to close operations for lack of funds.

And that is what the "illegal aliens" scare tactic is all about.

Now, look, no one likes a government shutdown, although President Trump doesn’t seem to hate the idea either:

But a government shutdown is not good! And it’s literally the job of congress to fund our government, and, at this moment, they’ve failed. However, it’s extremely disingenuous to size this all up as "Democrats want free healthcare for illegal aliens."

Republicans leaders know they can hold power longer if they demonize the other side, making them a less viable option come midterms and the next presidential election. This government shutdown gives Republicans another opportunity to point the finger and place blame while the American people are on the line. So, while they say they don’t want a government shutdown, they’re eager to take full advantage of the optics it presents.

In an ideal world, healthcare would be something both parties come together on and make accessible for everyone. But we don’t live in an ideal world.

We live in this one, where healthcare is something you must earn and where the President of the United States wants the most power he can get.

To get that power, he forgoes working with his political opposition, digs his heels in and says, "I hate my opponent."19

As President Trump pulls the strings to silence his dissenters in the media, there’s one word conservatives are not using to describe the situation: Orwellian.

Amidst the great cancel culture crusades of 2018, where the woke mob would get you fired from your TV show just for saying something racist1, and throughout the tyrannical reign of President Biden navigating a pandemic, conservatives often used the term "Orwellian" to prove that, not only was the current political landscape dire, but also that they read a book in high school.

The Trump administration has decided to call the conservatives bluff on the latter, and they seem to be correct.

As President Trump puts the hit out on late night talk show hosts who make jokes about him, the reaction from the MAGA faithful is not to call the situation "Orwellian," but instead to "LOL."

The government is, and has been, in full authoritarian mode for some time now, and MAGA conservatives are not inclined to study the history of similar countries who went down this path, but instead are advocating for censoring universities and dissolving public news organizations like NPR, as well as nonprofit organizations like PBS, which provides educational programs to public TV stations.

While conservatives ride the LOL wave and tell liberals to "cry more," they’re proving President Trump’s administration correct: they never read the book.

Or as President Trump might put it:

The right-wing podcaster and organizer, Charlie Kirk, was assassinated during one of his college campus events on Wednesday and elected officials on both sides of the aisle were quick to give their condolences, including President Trump who called Kirk "Legendary," in a statement announcing his death.

While Republican officials have continued their outpouring of love for Kirk, one Republican was a bit more hesitant to join the chorus of praise.

Eric Trump, the son of President Trump, hopped on a Truth Social livestream on Thursday, where he began with eloquent thoughts about Kirk. Eric then began reacting live to news stories about how the President might honor Kirk.

At one point, Eric glanced up at the chat and saw a mention of flags at half-staff. He could then be heard quietly saying:

"Flags at half-staff, huh? Let me look this up…

[Eric looks up the story]

Oh, wow. Yeah, my dad really liked this guy, huh.

My dad’s always told me I would get half-mast, but, uh, said he wasn’t sure if he could pull the strings for half-staff…. damn."

As the news stories began rolling in about ways President Trump could be honoring Kirk’s life, the chat on Eric’s livestream brought them to his attention:

"Chat’s saying something about a statue? A statue for Charlie? Is this official?"

[Eric looks up the story]

"Oh shit... in the U.S. Capitol, yeah.

…

Yeah, I’m all for that. For sure, for sure.

The viewers of Eric’s livestream then asked him the question he didn’t want to address, but had to due to the viewers spamming it in the chat:

"Okay, looks like everyone in chat is asking, ‘Would your dad do this for you?’

Funny. Very funny.

I mean, yeah, I do think my dad’s kinda bouncing on it right now, kinda gassing him up, but, uh, yeah I think he’d do all of this for me too if I were assassinated."

The chat was then quickly filled with comments like:

"Assassinated? No one’s trying to assassinate you LMAO"

"Not assassinated. Like, if you choked on food, would you get a statue?"

"Keeping it real, statue might be aiming a bit high. I’d lower expectations to, like, a metal plaque on a brick.“

Eric Trump quickly ended the livestream and contacted FBI Director, Kash Patel to delete all videos of the stream from the internet.

As evidenced by the recent White House Tech CEO dinner, an invite to the White House isn’t so hard to come by for corporate leaders so long as you make it clear you are Team Trump.

Like Apple changing their maps to reflect the “Gulf of America” name once President Trump declared that to be the name. Or Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg trying to guess the number he thinks President Trump wants to hear in response to his question, “How much are you spending [in the U.S.] over the next few years?”

CEOs are doing their best to show allegiance to the President, which now includes PepsiCo, Coca-Cola, and Keurig Dr Pepper, who all made a joint statement regarding their Dr Pepper beverage:

Woke is dead.

We know this, and so it’s time to finally address the elephant in the room: Dr Pepper is a man.

Always has been.

It shouldn’t be a crime to say that.

It’s okay to be a proud, male doctor and that’s exactly who Dr Pepper is.

For hours after releasing the statement, the CEOs of the companies had their assistants scan social media to see if they were getting “any Cracker Barrel heat.”

Alas, a tweet from the White House:

Bingo.

On Thursday, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. went before the Senate Finance Committee to answer for the recent turmoil at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and for his handling of vaccine policy.

Throughout the hearing, both Democrats and Republicans alike gave RFK Jr. a grilling. In fact, there were so many fiery exchanges that RFK Jr.’s internal temperature rose from, what he calls, “a healthy 100°,” to a 160°, classifying him as medium well.

Concern for RFK Jr.’s internal temperature grew as the hearing went on with multiple senators commenting on his appearance and his wheezing, with one exclaiming, “Oh my god, he’s sizzling!”

Another senator deviated from his line of questioning to ask RFK Jr. about his appearance, saying, “Sir, you’re starting to look mostly brown with a firm texture. Are you reaching a medium well?” to which RFK Jr. responded, “No, no, my doctor has always described me as a little gamey, but temperature-wise, I’m sure I’m fine.”

The Trump administration has been eerily quiet this past weekend as the President hasn’t been spotted in days and rumors emerge about health problems.

In response to rumored health problems, President Trump’s cabinet allegedly held a vote on ways to preserve the President as his pristine physical body fails him.

Ideas pitched by his cabinet included making a puppet of Trump, putting a Trump mask and suit on a Tesla bot, and taping a custom Trump-voiced Alexa to a Roomba.

However, the number one ranked idea was pitched by Stephen Miller: turn Trump into “The Wizard” from The Wizard of Oz.

Miller brought in a mockup of the proposed setup, fixed it to the whiteboard and claimed “this will change everything.”

Miller stated that with his “Wizard” solution, Trump could lay low behind the scenes and project his face out to “the peasants.”

The members of Trump’s Cabinet were quick to vote for Millers “Wizard” pitch as it offered the best way to allow President Trump to decay away behind the scenes for the remainder of this term and the next.

With President Trump rewriting history via Smithsonian museum, it was only a matter of time before an exhibit was implemented to honor our most recent conservative hero: the Cracker Barrel guy.

According to the Trump Administration, a gold monument of the cracker and the barrel were placed in the Smithsonian Thursday evening and “captures the traditional spirit that makes this country great.”

JD Vance and Pete Hegseth were at the unveiling of the monument and the Vice President claimed it to be “the greatest win for working class Americans with high cholesterol in the country’s history,” while Hegseth lauded the exhibit as “a win against woke minimalism in graphic and logo design.”

Conservatives across the country cheered for the new exhibit, including C-list musician, John Rich, who tweeted:

To purchase tickets to the Smithsonian, you can do so by sending $50 of $TRUMP crypto to the wallet whitehouse.gov.btc.

Gone are the days of playing by the mantra, “When they go low, we go high.” The demands of the Trump administration are putting them squarely in fascist dictatorship territory, and the elected officials of this country are not going sit idly by and take it. It’s time for them to get their hands dirty, and to fight fire with fire!

So, on Sunday when President Trump announced the National Guard would be sent into Washington D.C. based on a made up statistic, he was met with the sharp tongue of the Representative Eric Swalwell who said:

FUCKIN’ GOT HIIIMMM!!

Nice, Eric!!

Another concern is that President Trump is going to take healthcare away from Americans and use the savings as a tax cut for the rich, per the Big Beautiful Bill.

Well, that is if he can make it past getting SLAPPED with a GIF calling out his want for gold.

GET HIM, CHUCK:

YEEEEAAAHHH!

That’s how we do it! Think again before gutting healthcare, Gary Antoinette.

And don’t even think about tanking the economy for the benefit of corporations and one-percenters, because someone might have something to say about it…

IT’S THE DEMOCRATS! GET ‘EM!

L. O. L.

Get wrecked!!

Fascist dictators of the past were lucky they didn’t have to go up against elected officials with Twitter accounts.

On Tuesday, President Trump decided to take a walk on the White House roof where he yelled some answers to reporter’s questions.

Why? No one knows, but we have our guesses.

Here are 3 explanations for why President Trump walked on the roof of the White House:

1) Just Getting Some Air

The President of the United States is one of the most stressful jobs in the world! Add in the mounting evidence of ties to pedophile Jeffrey Epstein and, uh, yeah, it can be pretty stressful. We can all understand the president needing some fresh air, so the roof it is!

2) He’s Sharp as a Tack

Wandering aimlessly on a roof and shouting might lead you to think the President has lost it, but then he’d have you right where he wants you.

You see, the President is as sharp as a tack and he’s only creating the illusion that he’s an old, dumb guy to see if anyone will turn on him and write an exposé book à la Jake Tapper.

He’s going to lure out the backstabbers in broad daylight and you’re all falling for it!

3) Trying to Survive Another Assassination Attempt

President Trump’s image was never better than the minutes after he survived an assassination attempt.

So why not try to run that back?

This brings us right back to the President being sharp as a tack. He walked out onto the roof - a wide open area where he’s a clear target and any would be assassin would be lucky to catch him there - to try and get shot at, survive, and then approval ratings go through the roof (even though they already are, of course).

“But that’s too risky.”

Not if you remember that President Trump has been chosen by God (the Christian God) to lead this country.

So, knowing all of that, answer me this: would God ever let someone die if he chose them to be a savior and a leader?

I don’t think so.

So, next time you see someone try to act like it’s so crazy for a U.S. President to wander around on the roof, you’ll have a few explanations in your back pocket.

The GOP in Texas has made their stance clear: “We’re not against stealing elections, we just ask that people do it the legal way.”

The legal way being gerrymandering, where the Texas GOP has redrawn the U.S. House redistricting map to provide the Republicans with 5 additional House seats.

“We’re the party of law and order, so our voter base expects things to be done a certain way. We hold ourselves to a certain standard,” said one Texas representative.

Another representative added, “We’re not the Democrats; you’re not going to find Dominion machines and whatnot. Instead we’ll use a coordinated and manipulative tactic to circumvent the system, but in a legal way.”

The additional 5 House seats could be massively consequential, as they could determine which party holds the majority in the House after the 2026 midterm elections.

If this redistricting seems “evil” or fills you with “dread,” rest assured, it is legal and therefore ethical, per Texas Governor Greg Abbott:

“If it’s legal, it is ethical. That’s just common sense in Texas.

Putting someone to death? Ethical by way of our death penalty laws.

Criminalizing homelessness? Ethical by way of our various laws against encampments and panhandling.

Redrawing the state districts to gain an advantage in the House? Ethical… unless Gavin Newsome tries it, then… come find me for another quote, I’ll work on something.”

President Trump is tired of talking about Jeffrey Epstein and wishes people would just stop bringing him up.

Trump has tried turning the national attention to other matters he believes could supersede the Epstein story:

• Arresting Obama

• Changing the Washington Commanders name back to the Washington Redskins

• Adding real sugar back into Coca Cola

Nothing seems to work.

As President Trump seems to be backed into a corner, bombarded by Epstein questions, he’s deployed one last distraction tactic: jingling keys.

The President debuted his new distraction tactic at his latest press conference on the White House lawn.

As soon as the first Epstein question was asked, Trump simply took out car keys and shook them around.

The jingling noise stopped the reporter mid-sentence, leaving him baffled.

Success.

When asked for comment, the Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt claimed the President is “playing 4D chess,” saying:

“While everyone else sees the President jingling keys and thinks ‘Oh my God, how is this man President? ’ we see a seasoned businessman evading bad faith gotcha questions from the lamestream media.

Check mate.”

As for where the keys came from?

Karoline Leavitt’s husband.

The Press Secretary said her husband has come of age where his car keys need to be taken away from him, and so here, as a useful tool for the most Presidential man in history, they find their new purpose.

It’s hard to believe it’s almost been one year since Donald Trump was grazed by that bullet.

The guy’s ear was gushing blood, but he healed quick and bares almost no scarring. Crazy!

Truly one of history’s, and Melania’s, biggest “what ifs.”

Well, now Trump is launching an “Anniversary Collection” to commemorate the one year anniversary of the attempt on his life.

Check out the products in the collection:

Chunk of Ear Bag Charm

The ‘Chunk of Ear’ bag charm looks like a little spud and allows you to carry a piece of President Trump with you always.

Use it as a totem, a lucky charm, or a statement piece.

Limited Edition: Only 5,000,000 available.

Donald Trump Bulletproof Scar Cream™

Not everyone can be as genetically gifted as President Trump to be able to heal so quickly.

For those people, there’s now Donald Trump Bulletproof Scar Cream™ - the best scar cream on the market and the only scar cream that’s patriotically priced at $47.45.

Presidential Blood Capsule Necklace

This President spilled his blood for us, so now you can carry it around proudly.

Plus, if you’re in a pinch and need a distraction, smash the Presidential Blood Capsule Necklace against your skin to create the illusion you’ve been injured.

It works every time!

The Anniversary Collection can be purchased online or at your local Bass Pro Shop.